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Quoting sara4039:
Everyone has said it already - but - your good looking. And - your photo - is a good photo. So - there is nothing off-putting about the way you look in the photo you have up.
** I especially like bitterman405's kudos to you ...."i dont know dude - i guess you look all right..."
I LOVE IT
Thats as good as your gonna get - a guy giving another guy a compliment - trying to make it clear he doesnt find you too fetching - personally. Cute.
Anyway - everyone can talk about what really attracts people is the personality, sense of humor, etc...but the reality is that people are attracted to others, IN PART, based on physical appearance...
That being said - you dont base whether or not you are "wasting your time" or spending it constructivly - by talking to someone ON LINE - based on a picture you see after-the-fact (after already expressing an intrest in the interaction)
Its bullshit.
Interacting with people On Line - is not AT ALL based on physical appearance.
If you hit it off - you might THINK that you MAY end up AT LEAST finding a new friend.
And WHY would you want to DATE someone you wouldnt want as a friend? In the first place?
So - it's bullshit to decide you are "wasting your time" by looking at a photo - after youve been sucessfully interacting on-line.
ALSO - you are open to meeting people on line for only 2 good reasons:
1) You are intrested in getting to know people based on MORE than just the physical appearance - looking for intellectual stimulation and similar intrests , etc....
or 2) YOU are not able to meet someone and capture thier attention IN PERSON - so you hope that On Line (where they dont see you In Person) - you can interact with someone and get them intrested ENOUGH to GIVE YOU SOME TIME IN PERSON.
If you just havent found the right person, dont know many people, are new in an area, need to go outside your regular every-day realm to meet new people ---- and you turn to on-line ways of meeting people - you are doing it because you are OPEN to meeting new people - not turning away people (intresting people) - based on 1 photo.
Maybe this woman is not sucessful meeting people in person , is bitter about it - and because SHE feels rejected, it is empowering for her to do some rejecting.
People who Put Down others in order to Make Themself feel better are pathetic people. Thier opinion isnt worth anything - because its not really opinion. All thier interactions are self-centered. And they wouldnt NEED so much self promoting acts if they LIKED THEMSELF - and if they dont like themself - and they are mean and nasty - no one else is going to like them.
People emailed me because they "liked" my profile, started talking to me on line (i dont mind meeting new people and interacting on line - so thats fine with me) ... but they would try to then set up a "date"...they had expressed this "idea" they had about HOW i look based on WHAT I TYPE ON LINE...What I SAY.... (and i do not flirt/chat or talk about sex..) and when i told them how i look - describe myself (just say i'm big) - they were aghast...and dissapointed.
Im NOT the one trolling profiles that are NOT for "dating" purposes trying to get a date...so WHY are THEY dissapointed?
Ive gotten the same from people ive spoken with on the phone. I had a job where i worked at "home base" where people would check in for work .... guys got this "image" of me based on my voice and the way i talk - - - Theyd even DESCRIBE this idea..."I bet your blond and busty and tall and..." No
Im brunette, short and fat.
SO how is it that what i have to say is any less or more intresting based on the way i do or dont look. ESPECIALLY when im only interacting with you on LINE or on the PHONE?
I once had spent some time talking to a guy on the phone (before internet meeting and dating...) - and we finally arranged to meet - he didnt show up. I think he did - he just saw me and decided not to talk to me.
GOD i wasnt trying to meet the love of my life - i was just TALKING to someone - and if it didnt end up being ANYTHING MORE than just SEEING A MOVIE (we were to meet at the movies) - with someone i TALK to on the phone - FINE. But - no -
Ive also had total strangers walking by me or driving by ...who yell out rude comments about me being fat. Or even just say snide comments - thinking i'd either not hear, or that i'd ignore it.
(These things have happened to me since i was a teen-ager - and i've ranged in weight from 140 to 280 --- and gotten comments like this. I look back and see that i WASNT ACTUALLY fat back when....maybe not Skinny, but not fat ...and i still got those comments - from strangers.)
Why do people feel compelled to do it? I dont know.
But i ALWAYS say somthing back. WHY should i act scared, or embarassed, or be quiet? Or act like i dont hear it?
I also say somthing when i hear people talking about others.
My usual response is something like this:
"You may not find me attractive and you may think im fat or ugly or whatever. Fine. Im not going to comment on HOW you look - but I'd like to know EXACTLY HOW it is that you think YOU ARE SOOO Attractive that EVERYONE finds YOU attractive, and that there is NOTHING wrong with YOU?
You dont KNOW me. Does it make you FEEL BETTER about yourself to put down a complete stranger. Does it make your life easier? Does it make you Feel GOOD? WHAT excactly is SO appealing to you and important to you - to signal ME out - to put down? What ABOUT YOU?
ARE you SO pathetic - that the ONLY way you can feel good about yourself or make yourself feel good or attractive is to make fun of ME? And if that is the case - and i am as ugly and insignifigant and a spectical to be made fun of as you imply by your actions - then WHAT does it say about YOU and YOUR life. If you were ANYTHING worth a DAMN - you wouldnt have the TIME to seek out to put down or try to embarass stragers. YOU are pathetic. Stop and take a look at YOURSELF. I dont know WHAT it is about you that is so deficient - but i can now ONLY IMAGINE....so try and wotk on THAT. Put some effort into THAT."
...you get the picture. Sometimes im more angry - and sometiems i just ask more questions - and push it - like ---- "would you do this in front of your mother, sister, daughter.... do you want ass holes like you to make fun of your mother, sister, daughter... What is the point? What are YOU contributing to the world to make it a better place - by making fun of people and ridiculeing them. Or are you just a waste of space - if that is all you can do?"
It doesnt always affect them - sometimes it pisses them off, sometiems it makes them feel bad. Ive even had people who apologized.
- Sorry - ive made this more about me now than the original post...
i didnt check spelling, so sorry.
Everyone has said it already - but - your good looking. And - your photo - is a good photo. So - there is nothing off-putting about the way you look in the photo you have up.
** I especially like bitterman405's kudos to you ...."i dont know dude - i guess you look all right..."
I LOVE IT
Thats as good as your gonna get - a guy giving another guy a compliment - trying to make it clear he doesnt find you too fetching - personally. Cute.
Anyway - everyone can talk about what really attracts people is the personality, sense of humor, etc...but the reality is that people are attracted to others, IN PART, based on physical appearance...
That being said - you dont base whether or not you are "wasting your time" or spending it constructivly - by talking to someone ON LINE - based on a picture you see after-the-fact (after already expressing an intrest in the interaction)
Its bullshit.
Interacting with people On Line - is not AT ALL based on physical appearance.
If you hit it off - you might THINK that you MAY end up AT LEAST finding a new friend.
And WHY would you want to DATE someone you wouldnt want as a friend? In the first place?
So - it's bullshit to decide you are "wasting your time" by looking at a photo - after youve been sucessfully interacting on-line.
ALSO - you are open to meeting people on line for only 2 good reasons:
1) You are intrested in getting to know people based on MORE than just the physical appearance - looking for intellectual stimulation and similar intrests , etc....
or 2) YOU are not able to meet someone and capture thier attention IN PERSON - so you hope that On Line (where they dont see you In Person) - you can interact with someone and get them intrested ENOUGH to GIVE YOU SOME TIME IN PERSON.
If you just havent found the right person, dont know many people, are new in an area, need to go outside your regular every-day realm to meet new people ---- and you turn to on-line ways of meeting people - you are doing it because you are OPEN to meeting new people - not turning away people (intresting people) - based on 1 photo.
Maybe this woman is not sucessful meeting people in person , is bitter about it - and because SHE feels rejected, it is empowering for her to do some rejecting.
People who Put Down others in order to Make Themself feel better are pathetic people. Thier opinion isnt worth anything - because its not really opinion. All thier interactions are self-centered. And they wouldnt NEED so much self promoting acts if they LIKED THEMSELF - and if they dont like themself - and they are mean and nasty - no one else is going to like them.
People emailed me because they "liked" my profile, started talking to me on line (i dont mind meeting new people and interacting on line - so thats fine with me) ... but they would try to then set up a "date"...they had expressed this "idea" they had about HOW i look based on WHAT I TYPE ON LINE...What I SAY.... (and i do not flirt/chat or talk about sex..) and when i told them how i look - describe myself (just say i'm big) - they were aghast...and dissapointed.
Im NOT the one trolling profiles that are NOT for "dating" purposes trying to get a date...so WHY are THEY dissapointed?
Ive gotten the same from people ive spoken with on the phone. I had a job where i worked at "home base" where people would check in for work .... guys got this "image" of me based on my voice and the way i talk - - - Theyd even DESCRIBE this idea..."I bet your blond and busty and tall and..." No
Im brunette, short and fat.
SO how is it that what i have to say is any less or more intresting based on the way i do or dont look. ESPECIALLY when im only interacting with you on LINE or on the PHONE?
I once had spent some time talking to a guy on the phone (before internet meeting and dating...) - and we finally arranged to meet - he didnt show up. I think he did - he just saw me and decided not to talk to me.
GOD i wasnt trying to meet the love of my life - i was just TALKING to someone - and if it didnt end up being ANYTHING MORE than just SEEING A MOVIE (we were to meet at the movies) - with someone i TALK to on the phone - FINE. But - no -
Ive also had total strangers walking by me or driving by ...who yell out rude comments about me being fat. Or even just say snide comments - thinking i'd either not hear, or that i'd ignore it.
(These things have happened to me since i was a teen-ager - and i've ranged in weight from 140 to 280 --- and gotten comments like this. I look back and see that i WASNT ACTUALLY fat back when....maybe not Skinny, but not fat ...and i still got those comments - from strangers.)
Why do people feel compelled to do it? I dont know.
But i ALWAYS say somthing back. WHY should i act scared, or embarassed, or be quiet? Or act like i dont hear it?
I also say somthing when i hear people talking about others.
My usual response is something like this:
"You may not find me attractive and you may think im fat or ugly or whatever. Fine. Im not going to comment on HOW you look - but I'd like to know EXACTLY HOW it is that you think YOU ARE SOOO Attractive that EVERYONE finds YOU attractive, and that there is NOTHING wrong with YOU?
You dont KNOW me. Does it make you FEEL BETTER about yourself to put down a complete stranger. Does it make your life easier? Does it make you Feel GOOD? WHAT excactly is SO appealing to you and important to you - to signal ME out - to put down? What ABOUT YOU?
ARE you SO pathetic - that the ONLY way you can feel good about yourself or make yourself feel good or attractive is to make fun of ME? And if that is the case - and i am as ugly and insignifigant and a spectical to be made fun of as you imply by your actions - then WHAT does it say about YOU and YOUR life. If you were ANYTHING worth a DAMN - you wouldnt have the TIME to seek out to put down or try to embarass stragers. YOU are pathetic. Stop and take a look at YOURSELF. I dont know WHAT it is about you that is so deficient - but i can now ONLY IMAGINE....so try and wotk on THAT. Put some effort into THAT."
...you get the picture. Sometimes im more angry - and sometiems i just ask more questions - and push it - like ---- "would you do this in front of your mother, sister, daughter.... do you want ass holes like you to make fun of your mother, sister, daughter... What is the point? What are YOU contributing to the world to make it a better place - by making fun of people and ridiculeing them. Or are you just a waste of space - if that is all you can do?"
It doesnt always affect them - sometimes it pisses them off, sometiems it makes them feel bad. Ive even had people who apologized.
- Sorry - ive made this more about me now than the original post...
i didnt check spelling, so sorry.
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